Some said he should retire, others forgot about him completely. No one can stay on top forever, and father time is undefeated. Big Board has heard all of the criticism. Will these arbitrary rankings ever again be the most important part of everyone's week? No. But just maybe, for the few remaining readers, we can think back to years ago of Dale Avecado posting nonsense and remember the good old days!
Here is your 2019 Haverhill Cup Big Board rankings. On we go,
20. Melo - He's a proven champion who probably hasn't exercised in 2 years. He also won't play so this list is immediately a waste of time.
19. Jack - I don't think in our modern day Haverhill cup it's possible to win without at least mediocre goaltending. There will most likely be 3 below average goalies tho, which I guess could give Jack a chance if his team can score 4+ goals per game.
18. Iggy - Still undefeated in the Haverhill Cup, and undefeated as a friend.
17. Brendon - Brendon, Brendon, Brendon, what to do about Brendon come draft day. If nothing else, he always shows up early fully stocked with gatorades, powerbars, ace bandages, eye black, and 100's of other non essentials from CVS.
16. Steve - Spoiler alert, Dave is #1 on this list
15. Demaio - He recently started speaking for himself when Johnny sends out the Saugus text. I'm not sure if he and Billy separated or he finally received and unlimited text plan
14. Hardy - Hardy is currently the most influential person in my life. No chance he goes for $1 this year, that'll easily be doubled
13. Reggie - Anyone who refers to playing basketball as playing "hoop" is the coolest.
12. Billy T - Not a huge fan of Billy's game this year, and rumor has it he faked a knee injury in the finals last year. A lot of defensemen in the draft has his value way down.
11. Mike M - Will the refs be calling it tight or will they let Mike play his game out there? He'll clutch, hold and hook his way all the way to the finals.
10. Griff - The worst day of 2019 is fast approaching for Griff. He's gotta dig deep and find that anger and hate out there. I wonder what loophole he'll find in the rules so he doesn't have to try.
9. Drew - He's an MVP who will have his dad cheering him on. Also the youngest player in the tournament. Elliot and Andrew are out this year, just decided.
8. Johnny - He'll be a steal in the draft. Quietly going for a 3 straight cups. Player Cards were a significant let down, we were expecting more.
7. Billy D - Once again Brett thinks his brother likes him and will show up. This is the same person who moved to NH for a month and a half, hated being within 20 minutes of Brett, and moved back south. His disdain for Brendon is second to none so we can only hope they are on the same team.
6. Ward - An 8 time HC mvp and 2 time champion, Ward has been focusing most of his energy recently to archery. Hopefully Brendon is captain again and spends every last dollar on him.
5. Nick - Some underwhelming performances by Nick this year has led to the commissioner rethinking who can be captain (his words, not mine). Jared also might need you to help him move again the morning of the cup.
4. Borges - I don't know if he can emotionally handle another crushing defeat in the finals, I also don't know if Brett can emotionally handle Borges moving 30 seconds away from him.
3. Jared - The way he can handle the HC salary cap is remarkable.
2. Brett - The commissioner let everyone down last year with poor video footage, scheduling, lack of a redraft when players moved to 3rd world countries, and resisting changing rules to make the regular season matter. This whole working 40 hrs a week is really getting to him, and we all suffer the consequences.
1. Dave - So what if he passes out when the temperature goes above 50 degrees? Someone will spend their entire budget on him.
