Lambs to the Slaughter

UPDATE: The Stats are updated-Nick

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...but for the black team, it was mostly the worst of times. What else could you say about the slaughter that was last Sunday Night? Teams were chosen by Brett and Jared, and each side had no complaints...until the end of the first game, which the white team won in a shutout. The black team's captain, Jared, was asked if he wanted a trade, but declined on the basis that he wanted some revenge. And they got some in the second game, scoring two goals...which would also be the last time they scored in any of the four games played that night. After a 5-2 loss, TPJ was asked again if he wanted a trade, but declined yet again. Perhaps they felt as though they were making some progress with their increase in scoring during the second game. Either way, the black team had a chip on their shoulder and wanted to prove they could put up a fight. They couldn't. Not one punch. Not even a sissy slap on the face. With the non-warmed-up-before-the-game John in net, the white team rolled to two more shutouts. OUCH. A bystander overheard Steve the Goalie saying to his team: "Where's the defense? I'm surrounded by white jerseys! No one's on him! Cover the point!" Steve did his best to stop the onslaught, but even on his best night, he could do nothing, as there was no denying the white team for the sheer number of chances they had.

Usually, it isn't all one-sided...but this time it was. It was humiliating, embarassing, and the black team may not live it down until next week. Will they switch it up, or come back for more? Will TPJ use his managerial skills to trade for a first-round pick, or perhaps two second-round picks to be named later? Or will he realize that there is nowhere to go from here but up, and fight his way out of yet another debacle? Will Dale pass the puck when he has a two-on-none breakaway, or will he trip over his own stick? Will JB show up next week to help out his beloved dark team, and if so, will the four cheeseburgers he ate give him indigestion and yet another excuse to use when they lose? All these questions and more will be answered next week for more Sunday Night Game Action....stay tuned!

Here are some thoughts to ponder over: -Newcomer Derek scored as many goals as TPJ, and had more points (through four games) than did Newcomer Brian, Nick, Mike D, Reggie, and Dale COMBINED. -Everyone scored at least one goal each on the white team. -The white team had 19 of 20 possible points, while the black team had 3 of 4 possible points. -Lenny had more goals than anyone on the black team. -Possible new records: 1) 20 goals by one team in one week 2) 3 shutouts in one week 3) 0.5 GAA in one week 4) Highest combination of points between two players in one week: 24 (Brendon & Brett) 5) Highest combination of points between three players in one week: 32 (Brendon, Brett, Cliff) Editor's Note: Some of these are not records; official records will be posted later this week.

Here are some stats to chew on: -John (Goalie) 2 goals allowed through 4 games; 0.5 GAA, 4 wins, 3 shutouts -Brendon 13 points (4 goals, 9 assists), 4 wins, 2 Gamewinners -Brett 11 points (6 goals, 5 assists), 4 wins, 1 Gamewinner -Cliff 8 points (6 goals, 2 assists), 4 wins, 1 Gamewinner -Mike W 4 points (1 goals, 3 assists), 4 wins -Lenny 2 points (2 goals, 0 assists), 4 wins -Derek 1 points (1 goal, 0 assists), 4 wins

-TPJ 2 points (1 goal, 1 assist), 4 losses -Chris 1 point (1 goal), 4 losses -Dale -1 point (should have had an assisted goal on that 2-on-none breakaway! Pass it next time!)

Something tells me that the weekly_power_rankings will, for the first time this year, be made up of 5 players from the same team...but in what order? And will anyone on the black team get an honorable mention? Stay tuned to find out!(Nick deserves an honorable mention)