I obviously have to do a better job at being terrible at writing “recaps” (do you see the irony in this?). It’s a Monday after another exciting week in Saugus and I have the daunting task of writing the recap. I thought that I would be able to wiggle my way out of these recaps, but I can’t. I want what Ron has. Ron writes a recap when he feels like it, and it is so short and obvious that people love it. Nothing is clever about it. He usually has a couple observations and puns, and then he gets a standing ovation. It’s maddening. It’s like…well its like something. I have nothing else to add.
To the Recap!!!
Nick: In honor of Brett, I propose that we do this entire interview with our left hands in the air. What do you think?
Scout: Hmm…do I have to have a video camera in the other?
Nick: Definitely. We have to go all the way. It’s a tribute.
Scout: I don’t know. It seems like a terrible thing to be doing for the next 10 minutes.
Nick: It’s easy if you take your mind off of it, or until your arm goes numb. Whatever happens first.
Scout: I guess that’s true.
Scout: But Nick, let me stop you before you go in to another Seinfeld-esque rant. We need to put more content into this recap.
Nick: You mean, actually going over what happened in the game?
Scout: Yes, if that’s not asking too much.
Nick: It’s certainly a valid claim. In game one...sorry, but I can’t take you seriously right now. Can we start over? I’m not sure if you look more like Hitler or Malcolm X with your arm in the air like that.
Scout: That’s a weird combo. Complete opposites right there.
Nick: Do you think Malcolm X looks like a cross between James Earl Jones and that guy that played Ray Charles?
Scout: Jaime Fox?
Nick: That’s him.
Scout: I’m not sure. James Earl Jones was great in the Lion King though.
Nick: Mufasa, right? I here that name I shudder. Mufasa. The name rolls off the tongue. It tingles me.
Scout: Nick, I have to say, that I’m shocked that you’re avoiding going over the games last night. I mean, you did have two goals.
Nick: You know one of those was a game winner.
Brendon: GAME WINNER!
Nick: He’s back?
Scout: Wow! He even gets excited when his teammate gets the GW.
Nick: Let’s move on. What were your thought’s on Lenny’s attempt to “redeem” himself this week?
Scout: Nope. It wasn’t this week. Lenny needs to get back to doing what he was doing last year. It doesn’t seem like his heart is in playing defense.
Nick: It shows in performance.
Scout: To a certain extent you are right. But players can have a rough stretch. Lenny is not a lost cause.
Nick: But he is lost.
Scout: Lenny is going to turn this around.
Nick: Maybe Lenny plays better when the games are less competitive?
Scout: Not cool, Nick. Lenny is going to have a great year. He will be this year’s Ricky Nolasco. He has started off rough, but will be an ace the rest of the way.
Nick: Will Lenny be sent to the minors too?
Scout: Enough about Lenny. Let’s talk about Dave.
Nick: Ok…I’ll move on. Who had a better week from your vantage point, Dave or Steve?
Scout: Very close. I’m not sure that the answer is clear. I honestly believe the defense was the determining factor at changing the game results. On several occasions, most notably Nick and Dale at the end of game one, the dark team had break away opportunities. Joe almost seemed to be a non-factor this week. Lee left at some point during the night. And on the other side we saw Griff and Jared handled by the Dark team’s defense. They didn’t stop them but they played tough against them.
Nick: I felt that the biggest difference between the white team and the Dark team was the play at the point.
Scout: No question. It seemed that the white team either made a weak “shot” at the net or missed the ball completely. On the other side of coin, the dark team did a fantastic job at keeping the ball in. Your boy Lenny had a great keep when he passed it to Reggie (who turned it into a goal). Also, Nick had a very nice slap-shot from the point that went in. It’s demoralizing to an offense when the defense cant keep the ball down low.
Nick: Did Mike continue to look good as an up and coming center this week?
Scout: Nope. He took a step back this week. I barely remember that he played.
Nick: I know Johnny was very impressive to you last week, what did you think about him last night?
Scout: Brad had a larger effect on the game outcomes last night.
Nick: Two back-handed compliments in one sentence? That’s impressive.
Nick: Your thoughts on Justin?
Scout: Solid stick handling abilities. With his speed he could be dangerous if he gets a better wrist shot. (That applies to every one of us.)
Scout: My arm is so sore.
Nick: My butt is sore. Someone gave me a wedgie last night.
Scout: Do his name rhyme with wedgie?
Nick: That’s weird. It does.
Nick: WPR and the Rhyme guy?
Scout: And the legend grows.
Nick: prediction for next week?
Scout: Nope. I don’t do that anymore. Dave didn’t yell screen once. He did it to spite me. No more predictions.
Nick: hakuna matata.
28 comments:
nick always makes a new post everytime WPR posts
im not sure I see what your point is. Am I trying to overshadow WPR? lol.
I would like to introduce the new and improved report card. This will be posted weekly and come out shortly after the game (obviously can’t wait for the recap since it takes forever NICK). The grades will be based on the performance of offense, defense, goaltending and overall performance for each team.
The grading system will work as follows.
F – Failure to do pretty much anything right and the reason for losing.
D – Not a solid performance and made far more mistakes than decent plays.
C - Average performance based on typical performance expected from players
B – Above average performance based on players exceeding expectations
A – Amazing performance. Almost everyone on the team overachieves and plays lights out.
Report Card
BLACK TEAM:
It was another dominating night for the black team. Due to the expert ability of Johnny to convince Jared week in and week out who he is going to play with before they begin picking teams. Also the fact that Johnny has to have the best goalie each week is becoming quite evident. I am not sure he would have such daunting stats if playing against Dave.
Offense:
Not much to say here. It didn’t appear the black team completely dominated the game. It was pretty much the Dale show last night. Dale overtook all the black team’s offense and proved he is worth a high draft pick. Johnny faded into the background while Dale stole the show. Johnny didn’t even make the top 5 on weekly power rankings . Brendan put in an impressive performance along with Nick (offensively not defensively) and Chris. Jack should probably stick with goaltending since he doesn’t know if he is a righty or lefty. Grade B-
Defense
Defense gave up plenty of opportunities to the white team. Nick looked sloppy and inconsistent along with Lenny and newbie Brian. Danny N was the only stronghold on the defense. Grade C-
Goaltending
We all expect Dave to play lights out. He didn’t give up any bad goals and made plenty of good saves. If the defense played better Dave may have been in the A range and clearly frustrated Jared all night. Grade B+
Overall Grade B
WHITE TEAM
Jared got pushed around again in the draft. Johnny told Jared who would be on his team including the better goalie. Jared may need to toughen up when picking teams to ever win again. F for Jared’s ability to stick up for himself.
Offense
White could not find the back of the net. Horrible ability to finish displayed by Griff and Justin. Joel showed little fight in the boards and lost some battles to BRADLEY DEARDON. UNACCEPTABLE. Jared was also frustrated all night by Dave and Luke tallied a few opportune goals. Mike played average. Grade D+
Defense
The defense was pretty awful. Lee blocked approximately 46 shots and Matt and Joe were on the floor sliding and flailing for most of the night. Jimmy got beat almost every play when he tries to make steals at the red line. Very poor performance. Grade D-
Goaltending
Steve played decent all night. He gave up some weak goals but mainly due to the defenses lack luster ability to clear the puck. A little worse than expected from Steve. Grade C-
Overall Grade D
Substitutions
Johnny gets an F every week for subbing once or twice a night. Yay for everyone on the black team. Grade F-
Ah Jared, you're a very funny kid. I don't want to ruin your posts with actual facts too often, but this is one of those times I feel like it - it's far more interesting to me then arguing about shirt colors.
The players I said I wanted to play with: my father, Danny, Brian, Chris. Since Jared wanted Joe, and Joe wanted to play with Steve, I got Dave in net, Jared got Steve. So Jared decides to take the next 3 players: Griff, Mike D, Joel - players that usually are picked from the 4th overall pick on.
So just to be clear: the first five players on the black team were:
myself
Chris (on offense for 1st time)
Dave (hadn't played in a year)
my father (played 1x in 3 years)
Danny (played 1x in 5 years)
Brian (never played)
White team:
Jared
Steve
Joe
Mike D
Griff
Joel
After that we picked players 1 for 1. I fail to see how Jared was getting shafted by the teams. As a side note, Dale was not picked, and once he got there I offered Jared the chance to take him. However Jared said: "I already set my lines the way I want them. You take Dale".
You can continue to take the approach that you are getting suckered as we're picking teams though - it's entertaining to read anyway.
What about our set teams? Are we still going with them? I hope so.
A few other random observations:
Outside of when we got to 4 goals on game 2 I actually subbed quite a bit. Did I have the same ice time as Brad - no, but I tried to take a regular shift.
I thought Danny N played very well on D. He isn't very big or fast, but he's quick and plays the position very intelligently. The rest of our D was very good. Nick was our best player I thought, but Lenny was very solid too. Brian had his struggles, but also made some good plays, and if he ever moved out here I think he'd become good very quickly.
Offensively Chris played well for his first time at forward. He's got potential to be very good. Reggie showed some flashes, and my dad did not look out of place playing forward - anyone want to bet he'd outscore Bradley if they both played forward all year (yes it will be a poll question)?
I played decent, need to score more, but was solid defensively. Dale played great on Sunday, and not just because he scored 4 goals. He hustled more defensively, tried to pass more often, and was pretty good about subbing. With constant strides along those lines he can be a consistent top pick.
Obviously Dave played great for us too.
For the white team I was impressed with Justin, considering the last time he played with us Cindy wasn't walking yet. I thought the White team's D was very solid, especially Matt. Offensively they rolled their two lines out effectively. Steve was solid net. All in all, some very close games this week.
BTW, Matt - you're forcing me to make the first censor of the site due to language!
I dont know if we all watched the same game, but steve played twice as good as Dave and faced twice as many shots. Dave had some obvious rust to shake off.
Steve #1 goalie
Dave needs practice
lol - I don't think I've ever been mentioned as much in a recap. I thought my D was decent. Of course, everyone forgets about my sweep check on Joel WHILE LYING ON THE FLOOR in front of the net.
That was a sick play, Lenny. You saved a likely goal. I thought you played great defense, in fact I have nothing to complain about with the defensive help I received.
Don't know which game you watched, but Dave was very good in net. Steve was solid as well, although Dave was a bit better. Goaltending was the difference only in the sense that the first two games were 5-4, and the little bit that Dave outplayed Steve was enough to get us the win. Steve certainly held his own out there though on Sunday.
I agree, Lenny's D was solid, Including the shot to his JAW. Talk about taking one for the team.
You are the man Lenny.
Ok , Now lets talk about me. where is the professor, or anyone else, how bout some more "offensive" tips. Not the censored kind! and of course none that promote a wedgie from reggie(nick)
hey johnny, i'm not report card although it did sound like me, i didn't complain about the teams i thought they were decent until dale showed, and ya i should have taken him. And Dave was rediculous in net he played the best i've seen him play in a while.
and we split up nick and joe, your memory isn't as good as you think!
and i am out sunday unfortunately, we should all cater to me and play friday night.
i think we need new set teams seeing as Brett will be out for quite some time.
Jared JR
Ron Joel
Joe Nick
Dale Brendon
Ryan Matt
Lenny Lee
Reggie Mike D
Steve Dave
i like to talk in the third person
As fustrating as Dale has been in the past to play with in the past he's turned it around
Reggie showe and burst of speed last night that we hadn't seen in a while, the injury that sidelined him for most of last year looks to be healed
Looks like the advice Nick got about where to have his lower hand when taking a slap shot has paid off with a few goals from the point
Steve was almost lights out, I think the "weird" goals in game 1 got to him a bit.
what's the over/under on how many weeks Brett will show up to tape the games? I say 3 weeks
Did anyone else hear John yelled at Brad and tell Brad "I'll bench you if you do that again" was pretty funny
Mike definately one of the better defensive centers, just needs to be a little more offensive minded & remember 3 taps on the first face off
Joels leg looked to be better & was moving around pretty good
Jared, what time's the wedding? You have no chance at all to make it? If you don't show to the wedding, you don't have to give a gift - that's probably a couple of xbox games right there.
Chris, I've been busy all day but I'll try to answer your question later.
I like those teams Brett. You're good for something I guess!
Chris, here are some tips. Remember, someone will post immediately after this and tell you that everything I just said is nonsense. Believe whatever you want to. Don't believe me, and listen to someone else - it's all up to you, but I'm going to try to give you some advice from my perspective, as an objective critiquer (is that a word?).
You're playing well, and getting better, but here are some things you can try to focus on:
1. Hustle. Don't take it wrong, you hustle well, but the more you hustle (even when you think you have no play on the ball) the more chances you will create for yourself and your teammates. Keep it up as long as you can before you pass out, and your teammates will appreciate the effort.
2. Shoot. It's that simple. Shoot when you have no other option. Shoot to dump the puck in the zone. Shoot when there's a man in front of you (like Lee) who can give you a partial screen. Don't worry so much about accuracy, and don't worry about where it hits the goalie. Just throw it on net and good things will happen. Trust your other forwards to get there and crash the net (see #4) when you do shoot.
3. Help out on the boards. Sometimes those battles for the loose ball mean the difference between scoring and missing an opportunity. If you see the other winger battling on the boards, go help him out and try to give him some cover (like an escort) while going to the net.
4. Crash the net. When Johnny or a forward has the puck, sometimes it is wise to try to "get open" for a pass, and a one-timer. Most of the time, though, unless you're really really wide open, you should just go to the net and wait for the shot. Rebounds are plentiful in this league. And rebounds are often the easiest goals to get.
5. Screen the goalie. JR has the puck and he's looking to shoot - get in front of the goalie and put your back in front of his face. Even if he has to squirm out of the way to see, he has put himself in a terrible position to make a save. Goalies HATE screens, even partial screens, because it is not only hard to see past but it makes them position themselves in a way that they don't want to. You're a big guy and very hard to move. You are the perfect forward to just plunk himself in front of the net and screen. At the very least, you'll draw another defender in front of the net and create a bigger screen. And if the shot doesn't go in, see #4.
Some things just take time to work on: stickhandling, shot accuracy, shot power, etc. Don't sweat the stuff you can't fix right now. You have enough tools to get the job done. No one can help you improve the other things all in one sitting. You'll develop those things the more you play with us (unless you also practice drills at home, and try to fine-tune your technique, but we're assuming you dont have time for that, like most of us).
And now here's some advice from another anonymous poster who will completely contradict everything I just said...
I like these, they make sense. If I can at least employ on or two of these at a time that will be good.
I got some work to do.
Thanks advice guy!!!
yep, most of it is just being aware of the situation and knowing where to go and what to do. if you can just remember these 5 things, I think you'll see your game improve a ton, whether or not you master all 5 things immediately.
Good points. Never thought I would put this much thought and effort into playing Hockey, I am a basketball, football , baseball golfing kind of guy!
I guess if you mix all those together and take some letters out you get hockey!
it's all good!
"This will be posted weekly and come out shortly after the game (obviously can’t wait for the recap since it takes forever NICK)."
not all of us can have until Wednesday to post our "job" like Big Board does.
"hey johnny, i'm not report card although it did sound like me"
Brett must be really bored at home.
hey Advice Guy... don't be stepping on my toes!
Oh wait I don't have toes, I have paws. i'm an animal.
I'm giving you a pass because it was decent advice and if applied, yes cyoung will greatly improve.
no i'm not report card
Report card is retarded. I thought the white team D did far better than a grade D. Just because on paper we lost the games doesn't mean we made FAR more mistakes than decent plays. I would give us a c+ only because we lost. Game one could have gone either way especially with a controvercial goal not given to the white team that untimately would have one it.
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