I blame Brittany

“I am not talking about tournaments. I am talking about street hockey in a parking lot with no referees and cement and no pads except gloves. I used to hang around with guys from my city who played teams from other cities and there were no rules. The games got nasty. If the other team knew they were tougher than you, they would start elbowing you in the face and swinging their sticks at your knees and punching you and cross checking you. If you fought them, there was no one there to break it up when you started getting your head kicked in. And believe me, their friends were ready to jump in and literally help their buddy kick your teeth in. I am not exaggerating. I remember one game where I got hit from behind so hard between the shoulders, from a kid who later ended up in jail for rape, kidnapping and attempted murder, that my body flew ten feet in the air and I literally did a summersault without even trying or using my arms . I landed on the cement and the future rapist just laughed at me . Later in the game, another future jailbird tried to take out my knees with his stick. He swung it like a baseball bat at my knees. I jumped and he hit my foot instead. ( He went to jail because he later tried to hit someone with his car that ticked him off.) A lot of other things happened in that game I wont get into. That was the last one I ever played.I didn't want to get permanently injured, But that was what those games were like. I can't wait to hear all the comments from this post. Let's go guys. Start laughing and making jokes. This is all true. How many of you have played with people who didn't care if you left with any teeth or not. These guys didn't like to lose and they did whatever it took to win. Believe me, I kept my mouth shut and just played.”-Former Blogger

True Story. 

But Montreal is nothing like that. Its the exact opposite actually. Everyone is apologizing if they even make contact with you. Well except Griff... “talk to the ref! get away from me!”

The Recap is back baby!

For the last couple of months I admit the recap has become a thing of the past. A forgotten art that made this once great blog great. But guess what? Now I have something to blog about. An incentive to actually wanting to write. I don’t have to write a recap about a 4 on 4 game in the middle of January. I wont have to write about Jared being shadowed by a defense all night as Cindy was ignored in the left dot. And finally Ill have a recap where I wont have to mention a Frendonism. Week after week of writing the same stuff. How many times can I write about Johnny’s decline, Frendon with a traumatic injury that is instantly cured by hockey tape or Rick allowing goals from the opposite end of the rink? I cant anymore. I’m done with that.

So I know what you’re thinking. There is going to be seemingly endless recaps day after day for the next week or so, right? There has to be so much juicy recap material just sitting out there like a giant matzah ball ready to be written. Not so fast. I’ve got nothing to work with. There is no material. No Stats. No Video. Its like it never happened. So for the first time in a long time all we have for proof is the recap. The recap is officially fact. There is nothing else. Who are you to say differently? There is only one thing I have left to figure out...who will be this year’s goat? Because what’s a recap of an event without a goat?

“We don’t have the horses to run two roll lines”

Oh yes, the hypotheticals. Do you put Borges on Defense? Griff at center? Nick at wing? Options aplenty. And the debate never ended because the Captain never made up his mind. But he had to settle on something so this is what we were left with:

Brett in net (for now...Griff was still an option after a game one panic)

Nick and Ron Rotating on Defense (Nick has to play 90% of the game I guess)

JB and MVW Rotating at Center

Jared and Griff Rotating at Wing.

No full line changes would be necessary,  We were doing the Saugus method. Sub when ready (or not at all).  The only person this rule didn’t apply to was Griff. He could be called off at any moment. He paid a different amount to play than the rest of us.

“What’s in name?”

In honor of the 2012 Muckers’ Champions this year will be the last time that we will go by the team name “Alliance”. Which had I known was a Star Wars reference I probably would have suggested a change years ago. Was there really no better options? No one thought about putting a gas mask on a aardvark?  Anything? No wonder why the Alliance never won anything.  

Trophy Defense

So for the first time since May 22nd 2012 a team from Massachusetts and New Hampshire (Hampstead and Salem respectively right Griff?) was back in Canada ready to defend the Muckers Trophy.

 But this time we moved up a level. We were too good for Muckers. We were going for the Intermediate Trophy. Now I know what you’re thinking. The team loses Eric and Darrin, which forces our best player to play net, and you decided to move up? 

Forget the trophy defense...we were looking at a 0-3 regular season.

Or were we?

Next: Game One Recap: I hate the early games