The 2015 Play On roster has become let's find 7 guys who aren't busy Memorial Day weekend.
When determining pre-weekend rankings, everything needs to be taken into account. It's not just your hockey skills, but intangibles. Well timed jokes by Ward, knowing when to bring out the phone for picture time, and having the better mini van with fabric seats so you don't get all sweaty and gross on a 2 hour drive are all things that contribute to your ranking.
On we go!
8. Ignads- Easily a top 5 in the fun category. However countless hours spent on his phone, and the realization that he won't be doing much filming hurts him in the rankings. His hockey performance will probably rank dead last, since he won't be playing. Snitches get stitches Iggy, how's last taste?
7. Nick- Rumors are swirling there may actually be boards this year. If that's the case he skyrockets up these rankings. Otherwise, he's probably ranked too high. Tough competition this year, he'll be middle of the pack hockey wise, but needs to diversify and expand his conversation topics to more than electrical amperage and Redsox pitching staff woes.
6. Ron- The lack of zeal for touch football and ditching on Margaritas afterwards is not the start Ron needed for this week. Expectations are all over the map for this Haverhill Cup MVP, who needs to be firing on all cylinders to crack the top 3.
5. Ward- Looked great during some practice drills yesterday, I think I may have even seen him look up to make a pass. Let's be real, Mike isn't here because of his hockey skills. If he does manage to score a goal, let's all be sure to give him plenty of positive reinforcement of how good he is.
4. Brett- Really has been hurt since he lost control over WPR who has gone into hiding. Brett is still a safe top 5 pick as he will make sure to laugh at everyone's jokes and point out the weekend scapegoat and demean that person for years to come. Anything short of A+ goaltending and we will all talk about bad he was behind his back.
3. Jared- Not a great night for Jared socially or on the field. Hey, everyone has off days and with his new joke app he downloaded I feel he will rebound nicely. He also got BB out of hiding to post this thread, which helped him immensely in the rankings.
2. Borges- This is his year. The joy of getting away from his family will not be wasted this year as he will cherish every moment. He also lost like 2 pounds which everyone is getting way too excited about. I expect him to be the top scorer and be a great anchor at every restaurant.
1. Griff- Demoting Griff to defense will really allow him to focus on his jokes and night life. He also was
the only person to score in the finals last year, I mean
one of two guys to score in every game, or was it
he scored the most in the playoffs, no that wasn't it, well whatever he did I'm sure it was awesome.
