Monday, March 27, 2017

Big Board

From the offices of Big Board comes the 2017 Haverhill Cup rankings.  It just won't be the same this year without the New Bedford team, but on we go!


20- Brendan (G)- ugh…gonna be a long day for this battle tested veteran goalie.  I'm sure Brendan is super excited to face Ron and Scott firing reckless slapshots at him in the pitch black.
19- Favro- I’m not sure what type of format would suit his game, but 3 vs 3 on pavement certainly isn’t it. 

18- Brendon- After a month of rest Brendon will muster the courage and strength to play for the cup.   After every terrible play he will surely wince in pain and grab his head or back...or ribs...or..hamstring...or whatever the injury of the day is.
17 Melo (G)- His positive attitude can go a long way.  Melo will suit up for all of his games and that cannot be confidently said for some other goalies.

16- Iggy- This is just a temporary ranking, when he shows up in peak physical condition 3 weeks from now he will be in the top 10 easily.
15- Joe- He’ll do the patented stick throw into the boards after each failed knee slide that turns into a goal.  I’m still confused as to JB’s lineup, I guess Billy will be playing some offense.   What a terrible trade he made.

14- Mike D- Whatever team Demaio ends up on knows what they’ll get out of him.  He can adequately play center with an occasional shift at wing.
13- Zack- He’s not going to catch many passes cleanly, or shoot the ball with any accuracy or speed, or win many board battles, or make smart passes, but I do think he’s planning to stay the whole tournament which is nice.

12- Billy- One has to wonder where his head is at after another outburst last night.  Perhaps the pressure of not winning the Cup for 5 years is building.  With his captain not showing the lack of leadership on team Borges is evident.
11. Johnny- Johnny Iggy and Favro didn’t show a lot of chemistry last night, but I have a feeling they are saving the good stuff for the tourney.  No sense in showing your hand to your opponent in the weeks leading up to it.  In the end he’s shooting on Melo and Jack for the majority of the games so he’ll have a million goals.

10- Jeremy- The mere fact he showed up to Saugus shows how serious this veteran is about repeating. 
9- Griff- The love and passion for street hockey, and life in general, has left Griff.  Father time waits for no one and this 30+ year old power forward may not have much left in the tank after last year’s devastating defeat in the finals.  How are those seltzer waters?

8- Scott- He apparently ran a 4.4 40 in high school, so that should translate to dominance 15 years later.  The Haverhill Cup is more of a write off for Scott since he will spend the whole day trying to get Brett and Nick to come work for him.
7- Ward- He has a scoring touch against Brett, unfortunately everyone has  a scoring touch against his goalie.  A captain you want to play hard for, can Mike win an unprecedented 3rd mvp?

6- Nick- He’s already too high on this list.  His draft is unforgivable. 
5. Brett (G)- There’s no escaping his team and the onslaught he’ll face every game.  He would’ve been #1 but that breakaway goal he let up to Johnny cost him 4 slots.  He's excellent at recognizing high sticks from 50 feet away tho.

4- Jared- Where Jared lacks in leadership and likeability he makes up for with phenomenal drafting and trading.
3- Ron- This 3 time champion is built for the Haverhill Cup.  A lot of trade rumors surround Ron and you have to wonder Ward is going to sell high.

2- Borges- I don’t know why he’s this high.  But one of these years he’s going to win this.  He did win a couple scoring titles in Dracut 8 years ago so maybe he just doesn't have any room for another trophy.
1- Dave (G)-  Almost dying playing defense yesterday will make Dave more focused and confident than ever to dominate in net.  With his entire team being defenseman, Dave is the favorite to win MVP.

36 comments:

Dee Rye said...

Running is HARD! Who knew?

Brett was awesome last night, Johnny's goal was just good. And from goal 4 of game 3 on, Melo was quite good. Completely kept his team in it.

Unknown said...

So happy Dave is in goal... now I don't have to worry about someone barreling into my back going 2 miles an hour out of control!

Brett said...

Thanks for the goalie love Dave but Johnny's goal was terrible on my part.

I'm just disappointed in borges not showing even though his goalie did infact play.

Brett said...

Also Jared must be legally blind if he thinks seeing a ball hit a stick from 50 feet away is some sort of super power

Tequila Mockingbird said...

But Brett, Jared didn't even write that. That was BigBoard. I mean, what kind of narcissist would always rank himself at the top of every list?

Clearly, BigBoard gave Jared the report and he simply posted it for him.

You know, kind of like how you and WPR are two different people. You never see the two in the same room at the same time, but just like the people who see Superman and Clark Kent and know that they are two different people, we are too weak-brained to think anything different. Right? Of course I am. Flawless logic.

Unknown said...

What this guy said ^

Dee Rye said...

Iggy that was totally 3 miles an hour. Give credit where due...

RUNNING IS STUPID

Billy Thomas said...

I just wanted to apologize for my outburst the other night. There is no excuse for me to react like that. Sorry guys.

John said...

No worries Mark, I mean Billy!

Brett said...

All Billy needs is a pair of goggles.

Jared said...

Why won't nick trade with anyone?

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Why would you trade for anyone if you already have the perfect team?

Nick said...

no reasonable offers have been made

Tequila Mockingbird said...

I would think that, 'anyone' for 'anyone' would be enough to give it serious thought.

Have you considered trading yourself off your own team?

JB said...

Billy your passion excites me. Don't apologize to that group of bullies. I need a little fire come Haverhill cup.

Unknown said...

On a more serious note I am setting up a Go Fund Me page to pay for all Brendon's medical bills that must be thru the roof at this point with all his dry mouth and also to get Billy anger management training, one of these games he could kill someone!!! Please keep a look out for the link to come soon...

Unknown said...

Guys, while doing research for my Go Fund Me page I came across a very serious article, its titled "Dry Mouth--the silent killer" if you get a moment please read, our very lives depend on it!!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Dry mouth? What in the heck are you rambling about??

Tequila Mockingbird said...

It's ok, Wiggy, you don't have to explain that nonsense. So you went off on some strange random thought. It happens to the best of us at times.

On another topic I have started a GoFundMe page for Wiggy's learning disability. So far, were in the red, though...

Griff said...

Jermaine Wiggins?

JB said...

He does play in Saugus at hockey town. I assume he's just confused. They have a similar build. Their complextions though are a bit off.

Jared said...

would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck?

Tequila Mockingbird said...

100 duck sized horses. How much fight could a small horse have? You would just boot em all to death. But how would you fight an angry duck as big as a horse? Not possible. I never thought that one was a very tough choice.

A better question is: would you rather fight 100 duck sized Wiggys or one Wiggy sized duck?

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Would you rather have bowling pins for hands or bowling balls for feet?

John said...

Wow, this thread has taken a turn...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

At least we're contributing....

Unknown said...

REDRAFT!!!!!!!!

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Why redraft?

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Did someone drop out?

Unknown said...

I hear birdys chirping...

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Well you said it. Why do you say things that don't make any sense and then refuse to explain? (I hear more birds chirping)

JB said...

Does anyone have tape on Brendon playing goalie? I'm doing my pre draft rankings.

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Umm, why would I be playing goalie???

Tequila Mockingbird said...

I see there's now another goalie listed in place of Jack, but spells his name with an 'a' so JB you got the spelling wrong. So who is this new goalie anyway?

Tequila Mockingbird said...

Wow, can't believe so many people dropped out of the Haverhill Cup already. First Griff, now Billy. Amazing. I wonder who will take their places?

John said...

What are you talking about?