Welcome to The Fall 2017 Hockey Preview
Below, you will find the over/under odds for each event. (DISCLAIMER: for entertainment purposes only. We are not responsible for stoopid people who take this sort of thing literally.)
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Event: Number of games Griff plays this season (excluding any Haverhill Cup action)
Over/Under: 1
Smart Money: Take the under on this one. If it was zero, I'd be tempted to take the under on that one as well...
Event: Number people that Nick severely injures with his reckless playing this year
Over/Under: 4
Smart Money: You might be thinking of taking the over, but odds are it will only end up being three. Take the under.
Event: Number times Brett glorifies himself in some way through the written word
Over/Under: 4,748
Smart Money: It's tempting to take the under, perhaps thinking that no one will keep count. But the over is clearly where the smart money is.
Event: Number nasty farts that JB rips during week 1
Over/Under: 14
Smart Money: This one's tricky. Stay with the under. Most of them are silent-but-deadly so we won’t be able to keep track.
Event: Number weekly appearances any Prater
Over/Under: 5
Smart Money: With Andrew being reinstated, suddenly the odds shift. Vegas odds-makers haven't learned of this yet, so since we're in the know, I'd say go over. But just barely.
Event: Number times John updates the stats in a timely manner
Over/Under: 0.5
Smart Money: Take the under. This one's a no-brainer.
Event: Number times Mike D has shot up some roids since we last played
Over/Under: 7
Smart Money: That's not a big number, but stick with the under. We didn't specify how long each steroid session lasts. Could be hours at a time.
Event: Number appearances by Reggie
Over/Under: 1
Smart Money: I'm taking the over. I have faith that Reggie will find a way to make at least one appearance this year (if not a couple), in between a host of health issues. But I'm also not betting the farm on it.
Event: Number trips that Brendon makes to the ER this season
Over/Under: 1
Smart Money: Pick 'em. I'm taking the under because I really don't want the over to be true.
Event: Number ACLs that Mike W tears this season
Over/Under: 3
Smart Money: We're taking the over. And we're not even sure why. He only has two ACLs. Somehow it's just going to be right.
Event: Number people that Jared verbally abuses whose name doesn't sound like "Frendon"
Over/Under: 1
Smart Money: I'd stick with the under on this one. Just a hunch.
Event: Number years that Ron's team of bio-engineering scientists are able to take off of him by using the TB12 diet and methodology
Over/Under: 6
Smart Money: Take the over. Ron's actual age is 74, but you'd never know it...
Event: Number times that someone complains about this list in some way
Over/Under: 57
Smart Money: Over. Easy money.
5 comments:
Whats the over/under on whether we actually play this year?
Wow. Wasn't expecting anyone to read this anytime soon...
Make your own odds for that one, Melo.
October 15th. Plus, I can give Brendon my database and he can make sure that he gets the stats done each week.
I dunno Johnny. I think some people might object to me having access to your database. I might go in there and start changing all my stats. Too risky. I can't be trusted.
Could you imagine the outcry over this if I started to control stats that people actually can see and care about? Hmmm, I'm having a deja-vu moment, I think...
What happened???
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