Sunday, April 29, 2018

Haverhill Cup IX Results

18 comments:
Haverhill Cup IX - April 28, 2018
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[The 2018 Haverhill Cup Championship TEAM]


{Image Credit: Mike Ward and Photoshop ... ok, MS Paint}
Yes, I am holding up three fingers, but have only won two HC. I was holding up three fingers because that's how many points I had.

... Actually, it was a 'W' for Wu-Tang Clan
... Actually it was a 'W' for Charlie Sheen's 'Winning'
... It's entirely possible that I held up one finger at the start, then put out two, then three, and if he kept taking pictures might have gotten up to four and finally just been waving at him.
... I'm going to blame the drone for injuring my fingers and they just stuck that way. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


[Goal-by-Goal breakdown in comments section]



DATE: 04/28/18

rank Player Goals Assists Points Games Wins GW GWA Team Goals GA
1 Jared 16 4 20 6 5 2 1 31 12
2 John R 10 9 19 6 5 2 1 31 12
3 Andrew 13 3 16 7 5 2 0 28 19
4 Elliott 4 7 11 7 5 3 0 28 19
5 JB 9 2 11 7 5 0 0 28 19
6 Billy D 5 4 9 5 1 0 1 11 25
7 Griff 4 4 8 6 1 0 1 14 28
8 Nick 5 3 8 6 1 0 0 14 28
9 Billy T 2 5 7 7 5 0 3 28 19
10 Jason H 2 5 7 6 5 0 0 31 12
11 Brendon 3 3 6 6 5 1 1 31 12
12 MVW 5 1 6 5 1 1 0 11 25
13 Mike D 1 4 5 5 1 0 0 11 25
14 Reggie 3 1 4 6 1 1 0 14 28
15 Scott F 2 1 3 6 1 0 0 14 28


rank Goalie Games Wins Win % GA GAA Shutouts
1 Brett 6 5 83.33% 12 2.00 0
2 Dave 7 5 71.43% 19 2.71 1
3 Jack 6 1 16.67% 28 4.67 0
4 Steve F 5 1 20.00% 25 5.00 0





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Haverhill Cup Recap
===================

So this was the last game for Nick. Like, ever. He's done. I spoke to him, and this was supposed to be his Swan Song. For Nick, though, it turned out to be more like Brian's Song.
Ok, maybe not THAT grim. I mean, he's not dying or anything. But his hockey career is dead. But remember that line from that movie? (You've all seen it, right?)
At the end, the narrator says that Brian died at age 26 and is remembered as he lived, rather than how he died. So we want to honor Nick's memory and dedicate this Haverhill Cup to his memory.
Maybe we will rename it the Burton Memorial Cup. Kinda has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? It already has his picture on it.
I mean, that is, UNLESS the unthinkable should happen and he came OUT of retirement at some point...I mean, we can't honor anyone who is still PLAYING, right?
Well forget it, because there's no chance of that anyway. He's done. Finished. Where was I? I think I was supposed to be writing a recap of the HC and went off on a tangent...On we go...

The sea was angry that day my friends...like an old man trying to send soup back in a Deli...sorry, there I go again...
For those of you who didn't know this: The regular season means nothing. NOTHING. It's practice. Get all cocky and start thinking you're gonna be flying high scoring left and right and... BAM! Playoffs happen and people actually start TRYING.
Whoops. Some of you forgot that.

Now, you really can't fault Mike ward's team. They battled as noble as anyone ever has without a sub (has that ever happened in the HC before?) and that wasn't their fault...well, it MIGHT have been Ward's fault for drafting a senior citizen...even if he is a fantastic senior...
He shoulda known that Ron was going to injure his back picking up Anvils. I mean, that's a really risky thing to try right before the Cup, don't you think? Well, they did their best, but in the end, the lack of a sub really cost them. Ron's HC value just plummeted in future Auction Drafts for reliability.

Nick's team was all steak and no sizzle. And I mean that literally. I think I saw griff gnawing on a porterhouse in between games for energy...might have been a ribeye...no, wait... a porterhouse serves two. That's what it was.
They went winless in the regular season but you know what? No one cared. As I said, that means nothing and I know I wasn't the only one who wasn't looking forward to getting pinballed between Reggie and Skippy for 14 minutes.
But they just couldn't win when it counted, and time wasn't even a factor, either. Because it all came down to Shoot-out skills, and I'm not one to talk, but they let Elliott single-handledly beat them twice. Ouch. This one's gonna sting for a while. Like a week.

JB's team was all sizzle but no steak. (Is that a saying? It is now.) Gotta put some meat on them bones, kids. You can't get out-muscled in the HC or you're gonna pay. We always said that children were useless in the HC, but not because they don't have any skills.
The rink is smaller, less room to run, more contact, harder to get a speed game going when the defense pretty much never leaves the zone, it's a crapshoot. The Prater boys combined for an impressive 27 points throughout the HC, but managed only 3 combined in the final game.
That's not going to get it done when your opponents score six goals. Don't get me wrong, losing Billy towards the end was a huge blow for team JB, but had they built up a sizable lead, it may not have been a death blow losing him, what with the kids' infinite energy and all...
But alas, JB has yet to get his name etched onto that Glorious Cup. There's always next year...When you're a year older, fatter, and slower, like the rest of us. :-D

And of course, I would be remiss if I did not mention the winning team, Team TPJ. Jared got the most out of his team. There was no yelling, no arguing, no crying, no spam, no shirt, no shoes, no service. And they pulled it off.
Largely thanks to Brett standing on his head; he kept opponents to a paltry 2.0 GAA (Is this a HC record?? Seems like it could be...) Meanwhile Jared and Johnny were sniping left and right and no lead was safe from them.
Give JB's team some credit. They kept it close until it was 3-3, and then the floodgates opened. Jason showed that even a $1 pick can be a bargain in the HC as he spanked the children and boxed out opponents like Shaq fighting for a cheeseburger falling from the sky.
It was a team effort. Play as a team. Lose as a team. Win as a team. Celebrate as a team for a whole year. Props to Jared for not taking the bait and switching up his team even though it was tempting. He made the right choice. Just like Sophie. Actually it was nothing like that movie. Forget that. How about another movie? I'll go with Rocky IV and in the words of the Godfather of Soul: "I feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel good!"




Friday, April 27, 2018

2018 Haverhill Cup Rules and Schedule

8 comments:
The 7th HC is less than 24 hours away and it’s only fitting to post the rules and schedule as if something has changed from all the previous Haverhill Cups.

-Games will be 14 minutes long consisting of two 7 minutes halves with a 1 minute intermission.
-Games ending in a tie will go to a shootout in which every player has to participate in (goalies optional) if it goes past 3 rounds. Keeping the order in which players took their turn.
-All penalties, tripping, hooking, a one handed nick type slash, arguing, complaining, high-sticking(faces and ball and hockey balls) will result in a penalty shot. 2 penalties in one game will result in loss of player for rest of game. A penalty that draws blood results in 2 penalties and ejection from game.
- Seems to be some confusion on this next rule. Only a player drafted as a goalie can put on Goalie pads unless there’s an injury.  A teams goalie can play out or run around playing out with goalie pads on and using a player stick if he so desires.
- A goalie can not cover the ball behind the net while out of his crease. If he does he will receive a warning first and then Penalized. It’s a good strategy in Montreal, but it’s not fun in the HC.
- After scoring a goal a team must clear to center ice
- If a ball gets stuck in the fence, it’s first person there. If the ball goes out of playoff one team, it’s the other teams ball


The start time is still 1 o’clock.

1:00 First whole team there vs second whole team there
1:15 Third team there vs 4th team there
1:30 2nd team vs 3rd team
1:45 1st team vs 4th team
2:00 4th team vs 2nd team
2:15 1st team vs 3rd team

Playoffs

2:45 2nd seed vs 3rd seed
3:00 1st vs 4th
3:15 2nd vs 3rd
3:30 1st vs 4th
3:45* 2nd vs 3rd
4:00* 1st vs 4th

Finals

4:30 - 3 seven minute periods

Sunday, April 22, 2018

Haverhill Cup Draft Recap

5 comments:
This is 100% from memory and last night was a bit of a blur, so if I messed this up and got some people on the wrong
Teams it probably doesn't matter anyway because we will have five more redrafts (at least) this week.
Probably all done through group messages while people are at work, too.

Team JB
Billy T
Dave (g)
2 children

Team Retired
Jack (g)
Skippy
Griff
Sugar Ray Leonard

Team (Hospital) Ward
Old man Ron
Mike D
Billy D
Steve (g)

Team TPJ
Brett (g/winger)
Frendon (seriously, how was that name already taken in HQ? Looks like it wasn't as original as people thought...)
Jason
The King


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As for initial analysis:

JB has two children on his team and we all know that all children are useless all the time (in the Haverhill Cup)
Maybe they're not technically children anymore, but for all intents and purposes...

Nick is retired so not sure how that works. I guess he coaches and they play with no sub. Oh, and no goaltending, probably.
Reggie better bring his insulin expansion pack or something. (I don't know what I'm talking about)

Mike W feels like he stole that draft but what he doesn't know is that Steve will end up being a no-show and
they will end up throwing Mike D in net and tossing him one piece of equipment at a time in between goals.
Sounds like fun.

Jared got over-zealous and went all-in on Brett and locked up the King for 58% of his budget (maybe. I'm making that number up)
After Jason and I quit on him and Johnnys back gives out, it will be up to Brett to pitch a shutout while Jared scores all by himself (as usual).

Still, Jareds team has a "fighting" chance. We all have different definitions of that word though.
Vegas oddsmakers have Wards team the favorite at a 5% chance to win. Somehow no team has better odds that that.
I think the suckers bet is that we all just retire like Nick and go out for beers after and forget that we never crowned a champion.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Hockey for Sunday April 22 @ 5:30pm at Lawrence Riverfront Park

3 comments:
Players In (9/10): Brendon, Drew, Jared, Ward, Iggy, Billy, Jason, Mike M, John

Goalies In (2/2): Dave,Brett

Out: Mike D, Elliott, Andrew

Retired: Nick

Haven't heard from Steve, JB, Reggie, Scott, Ron, Pete the Meat and everyone else who wasn't group texting

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Hockey for Sunday April 15, 2018 CANCELLED

3 comments:

Players In (8/10): Brendon, Drew, Jared, Ward, Iggy, Billy, Jason, Mike M

Goalies In (2/2): Dave, John

Out: Mike D, Elliott, Brett, Steve

Retired: Nick

Haven't heard from: JB, Reggie, Scott, Ron, Pete the Meat and everyone else who wasn't group texting

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

No Hockey for Sunday April 8, 2018

No comments:
Looks like too many people have their Assembly Day on Sunday, so we will try for the following week instead.